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Monday, June 16, 2008

On Writing, Part 1

So, last week (or the week before that, or some other time in the distant, misty past) I mentioned that I was very tired and had been doing a lot of writing.

Some of you were really excited about this, and I can only say "Thanks" and "Don't get your hopes up". Yes, you will all be able to read what I've been writing. No, it won't be any better than what I do over here on a near-daily basis. I'm not a writer. I'm a dad who has a computer. If you want to read a writer go read Black Hockey Jesus. Sheesh. As if that guy needs a plug from me after getting talked up by Stefanie and Jenny the Blogess. Deservedly so, because even though he broke out onto the blogging scene just a few weeks ago, and even though all of my readers are going to cruise over and celebrate him as the champion daddy blogger, and even though I am whatever-is-greener-than-envy, I just have to tip my hat to the guy. If all dad bloggers were as good as he no one would need television.

Anyway, back to me.

So, what's the deal?

M'not telling.

Ha!

Of course I'm telling. In two parts. First, the first part, and the one that came along first and which I have done nothing about at all (because I like to take things in the reverse order in which they appear):

I was asked by a reader (either of this blog or just of comments I leave on other blogs, where, honestly, my best work really is...I'm at my best in 20 words or less...or silent) if I ever wrote any fiction.

No. No I don't.

Would you like to?

Well, I don't know......

Because, you see, I've been reading your stuff and I think you have a perfect voice for this project I have going over here.

Well...let me check it out. Hang on. What the hell made you think I'd have a perfect voice for Chick Lit?

Uh.

I mean, come on. I'm all manly as hell with my huge pecs (man boobs) and rockin' abs (beergut) and my sappy poetry.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well.....sure. Sounds like fun. But I get to write about tanks and swords and stuff.

No.

Hockey?

No.

*Sigh*. Kittens and puppies?

Why don't you just write a chapter in the freakin' book and have it further along this story that we're collaborating on about a woman in a culinary school and the guy who shows up to be her partner?

Fine.

:}

It's a project called Chapterbytes, and I'll be writing my chapter in a couple of weeks. By then hopefully my co-authors will have killed off the guy and he'll need some revenging (Heroine grabs sword and stabs it through the heart of the ninja robot tank). Or, I'll get the chance to find out if I can write humorous romantic...stuff...

So, I am officially a Chapterbytes author:

Take that, world who always said I'd never amount to anything in the Chick Lit Fiction area. I showed you.

24 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Nice!

catnip said...

Well, you got me back, I am thoroughly embarrassed. In my defense, I wasn't positive it would be chick lit when I asked you to write AND I said we really needed a guy's point of view!

I bet everyone else here agrees with me that you're going to be great at this!

Any other guys man enough to write some Chick Lit? Let's talk :)

Danielle said...

And then?

He grew a vagina.

:)

kidding.

You're really just gonna be on the cover, right? With pecs and abs and a sword blowin' in the wind holding up the heroine?

Swirl Girl said...

good for you...a chance to use your poetic license!

www.swirlgirlspearls.blogspot.com

Kat said...

Wow, pretty cool! Well, not that you'll be writing chic lit but you know...you'll be published. :)

Missy said...

Awesome, congratulations.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

Thanks for the kind words.

I like tanks and swords too. But what really gets me going is Lord Of The Rings, man. Get some trolls and magic rolling in that girly book.

moonspun said...

Hey, chicks play hockey, too! Couldn't she cook and then lay off stome steam in the rink? :-)

chicago pop said...

What is chick Lit?

for a different kind of girl said...

Of course you're a writer! Plus, I like to imagine you smell of flowers and other womanly things (that I can't think of at the moment despite my actually being a woman) while still pulling off this being a dude thing, thus, I think you can pull off chick lit. Can't wait to read your contribution!

Backpacking Dad said...

cheri: we'll see!

catnip: I'm going to write from the point of view of the knife.

danielle: that would be some lame-ass sword if it were blowing in the wind :} More like a spanking stick.

swirl girl: they made me surrender my poetic license

kat: yup. they can't take that away from me.

missy: why thank you.

black hockey jesus: Damn! LOTR! Maybe I can throw in some Spelljammer or Forgotten Realms twists too...

moonspun: I think I'm going to make her a boxer. And then she'll be in this fight and take a cheap shot and hit her neck on an overturned stool.....

chicago pop: I think it's, like, Bridget Jones' Diary. So I guess I need Mr. Darcy to show up and act completely unattractively and still get the woman to fall in love with him.

FADKOG: lavender and amber. That's what I smell like.

Mary Beth said...

I see no reason why the heroine can't be a kick-ass girl with the flashing Ginsu knives. I'm going to head on over to see what the book's about - I think it sounds like an awesome idea.

Kristen said...

We are soooo not killing off Evan, so don't even think about it! How about you write the scene in which he's doing chest presses or something and Malorie can spot for him? Oh no, on second thought I want to write that scene...

Badass Geek said...

"On Writing"?

Okay, Stephen King.

My_Dog_Is_Better said...

I'm the writer. Jerk.

Backpacking Dad said...

mary beth: Damn straight!

kristen: He dies on page 47. Malorie catches sight of Mr. Darcy sauntering by while she's supposed to be spotting Evan and the barbell falls on him and crushes his windpipe. Ta da!

badass geek: I ought to have guessed that you would be the one to get that one.

my_dog_is_better: :} Yeah you are. And I already said I'm not a writer.

Mandy said...

Good luck with the writing gig. Remember to ask for your fair share of the royalties.

Badass Geek said...

Yeah, I suppose so. I guess I could have commented with something to the point of "Thats great!" and "Good luck!" and "Use correct grammar!"... but it didn't come to mind. At least at first.

Stefanie said...

Congrats, Backpacking Dad. Don't be so self deprecating. you're a fantastic writer. And I'm sure an even better chicklit writer. We all love what you do and you have plenty of fans. And I'm going to buy that Barenaked Ladies CD. You should put an ad for it from Amazon on your blog so people can buy it through you and you'll make money.

Manager Mom said...

Don't worry.. man boobs can still be SEXXXXAYYY.

Kelly said...

You'll blow the chic lit readers out of the water! man boobs and swords....SAWEEET!

Backpacking Dad said...

mandy: I'm going to be rich!

badass geek: that you didn't offer "congratulations" makes you badass. That you knew about the Stephen King book makes you a geek. Powers combined!

Stefanie: Your confidence in my chick-lit producing abilities is infectious. Look out, girls! Comedy and Romance ahead!

manager mom: I think you have "man boobs" confused with "chest protectors".

kelly: and I think I'm going to introduce a 3rd wheel. Possibly a Firestone. Or a Goodyear.

womaninawindow said...

Ya, just look at all the chicks commenting here! You're a chick magnet, man. Don't kill too many while writing, you know, for inspiration and all.

Yes, Jesus rocks, and by that I mean black hockey jesus.

Danielle-lee said...

'On writing'-awesome book! Awesome author!
Congrats on the chick lit. Heehee!

I will now go read the book, and will ask if I too can be a chick lit writer. :)