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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Buy This Vacuum

I still can't quite believe that it ever happened. I kind of remember the flight to JFK, and walking around New York, and taking my shirt off a couple of times in what they assured me was a photographer's studio.

My surreal memories notwithstanding I have confirmation that I really did go to New York one weekend in the fall of 2008. And I don't just mean my annoying Tweeting about it. No, the Hot Blogger Calendar (2009) is shipping out and you can order yours now!

There is a calendar full of crazy Hot Ladies, like Amy (Permission to Peruse), Jill Notkin (The Daily Grind), Miss Britt, Chic Shopper Chick, Katja Presnal, and Casey (Moosh in Indy), to name just a few of the ladies I know in real life.

But the one you'll be wanting to get your squeeing little hands on (because I know who reads this y'ere blog) is the one full of crazy Hot Guys, like Jim (Busy Dad), Peter Shankman, and NYC Watchdog (again, namedropping people I've met in real life, although I've also met Wil Wheaton in real life and he totally isn't in the calendar).

Oh, and me. I'm heating up September. My number is 9, folks, and 9 is the number of the month whence I'll be staring at you. And my page is special, because it comes with a tiny, tiny, tiny webcam that will let me see into whatever room my page is in. That's right. Just as your dog is staring at me, I'll be staring right back. It's a special feature only available to the calendars purchased by first clicking on the link over on the right where it says "Click Here". (Editor's Note: None of that is true. There is no camera. Relax and/or stop posing in front of the picture and/or stop trying to make me look at what your kid threw up into that cup.)

I think I'll donate all proceeds from this to charity. Because that's what you do with this sort of thing, right? So here I'm accepting nominations for charities to donate the money to (I'm going to make you do-gooders fight it out over who dos the goodest). I'll decide by this Saturday at 11:59pm PST which charity/cause the money will go to (and I may trump all of you and pick one on my own).

Further, I will be using the calendars as a giveaway. I don't know how many I'll give away, but I'll do at least one, starting right now!

What the hell does the title of this post mean/refer to?

Answer that question in the comments (in the same comment you recommend a charity or in a different one; your choice) and you will be entered into a random drawing for your very own 2009 Hot Blogger Calendar (The Guys). And I'll autograph it for you if you want. Or write a poem for you. Or draw a moustache on Jim's picture. Whatever you want to have happen (within reason, of course). Contest ends on Saturday December 6th at 11:59pm PST.


Elisa said...

Oh, that's a difficult question. Hmmm, let me think.

This refers to the Hot Blogger Calendar, which I might say, *I* nominated you for, so I think I should get a calendar. Authographer, if it pleases Your Honor ;-)

Jerri Ann said...

Ok, let me see, the title of the post means that you had to pose with a vacuum for your shot in the calendar....hahaha

As for my charity of choice, believe it or not, I don't really have one.......I kind of go with the popular charity of the moment, you know like when someone is killed and people put up money for the information of the killer or take money to help the family bury.

Man, I sound kind of....sad eh? But, really, that's my answer and that's my ...answer

Miss Grace said...

I'm born in September. Is this like my birthday present or something?

Elisa said...

ok, that was a typo. ehm - autographeD. shoot, I totally killed my line by making a typo.

Elisa said...

hey, I was born in September too! Sept. 3.

Bridge said...

I have a charity nomination.


You can learn all about it at They dig wells in countries where people have trouble getting access to clean water. My little brothers did the September birthday donation thing (you can read about it on the website) a year ago. The runners in my family are also running a marathon to raise money for a well. One in six people in the world doesn't have access to clean water. One. In. Six. Go watch the videos - they'll make you cry....

The Estrogen Files said...

The title means you got somethin' to sell? You're begging for dollars? You're a vacuum salesman?

That's my guesses.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I'll have to pass on this one...

monstermash said...

Is it a reference to
"Rent This Space".
Since your advertising the calendar.

Charity:Diabetes Association or Alive Hospice.

Heather said...

All I could think of was a door-to-door vacuum salesman.

I like Make a Wish.

Mama Smurf said...

Because it's a sales pitch? Buy this vaccuum = buy this calendar? That's the best I got.

I want to see a preview of the know, to make sure I'm getting my money's worth. ;) JK!

Hmmm. Charities? Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is close to my heart.

for a different kind of girl said...

Are you willing to write a haiku?

If not a tiny, tiny, tiny webcam then, do your eyes *appear* to be following someone as they move about the room?

Does the title of your post mean that the calendar doesn't suck, but if you want something that does, you should buy a vacuum?

Seriously, would you do a haiku AND an autograph?

What about filling in various dates in the calendar with random tidbits and made-up appointments? Example - FADKOG is AWESOME Day, etc.

What are your thoughts on Habitat for Humanity?

Anonymous said...

Hmm.. what to donate proceeds too .. my vote is to Fatty over at fat cyclist, who, like you is a dad, with 3? 4? kids, and a wife with cancer. He has set up a Team Fatty with the LiveStrong Challenge, and is aiming for the largest team, and largest donations. All for a REALLY good cause. Check it out :)

SciFi Dad said...

too afraid to comment lest I win and discover that you studied under Armand Assante at the Institute For Smouldering Eyes before the shoot

also? my captcha is gasteyed. Seriously.

Redneck Mommy said...

I have no idea what your cryptic and esoteric title refers to. You keep making my brain twist and hurt. Damn you.

Here are some charities I'd like you to consider.

The Make A Wish Foundation. (Bug was granted a wish but didn't live long enough to use it.)

The Children's Hospital and Research Center Foundation.


Good on you.

Jillian Bandes said...

The vacuum is a fictional representation of yourself, so you're really telling people to buy you. Though I cringe to think what the implications are of you essentially "sucking" —— har, har.

Ali said...

what's a hot blogger calendar?


BusyDad said...

Dammit. Your site paid me back for my site eating your comment by eating mine just now. Vindictive bastard, your site is.

Let's see, I guessed that your title was probably something Seth Godin related. Then I asked you to draw me a fu-manchu because it's the only facial hair ensemble I could ever adopt to outshine yours. Or something.

Cindy and Co. said...

The title means this is really one of those things that just suck money out of your pocket for no reason?

My charity of choice? Share our Strength (

I'm one of those foodie people that has issue with hungry kids in our country while billions of dollars go overseas.

kaila said...

You are posing with a vacuum, right? Crap someone already said that.

A good charity would be one for all of the abandoned animals from all the foreclosures and people who are abandoning them.

Aunt Becky said...

Sweet ASS. I mean that literally this time.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Did they have you wearing a French Maid costume while vacuuming as your pose? I have no idea where that thought came from...sometimes I scare myself.

I'm with Anonymous...Fat Cyclist is doing a huge bike ride for his wife. Reading what they go through, and continue to go through, just kills me and makes me want to hug my entire family.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I certainly hope it means you'll be posing in a thong while vacuuming. Oh, crap, did I say that out loud? Oh well, a girl can dream.

How about Toys for Tots? That's a personal favorite of mine, and they've been having trouble the past year or two.

Swirl Girl said...

the images are just too much to bear....

you/a vacuum cleaner/ hand held tight on your attachment/ the vacuum hose goes awry whipping around like a crazed/

[shudder to think of the dangers]

Father Muskrat said...

An SNL reference?

Lunasea said...

Are you starting a review blog and hoping Dyson will give you a free vacuum?

I want a calendar, and I'm a big fan of children's charities, like St. Jude's.

Burgh Baby said...

I think I'm glad I have no idea what the title is referencing since I don't think I like the idea of you staring at me while I tinkle. Where else would I put a hot blogger's calendar than the bathroom, after all.

Food bank, btw. A little bit of money can go really far in feeding a family.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

I totally want a poem. Let's continue the whole Facebook love. LOL.
As for my charity?
The National Autism Association.

And I'll bet that webcam thing is TOTALLY true.

Redneck Mommy said...

Heh peoples.

I know the answer to his riddle.

And I'm willing to take bribes.

Just so y'all know.


Jannie said...

Hot Blogger Calendar, I had no idea that existed!!


Jannie said...

Oh... yes the question. Buy This Vacuum means...

Space for rent cheap! (vacuum?) ha.

BOSSY said...

Wait, there's a quiz? Bossy is too drunk.

Carmen said...

C'mon, what's the answer??? It's driving me crazy! What does a vacuum have to do with anything?

anymommy said...

September is by far the best month!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to suggest ChildFocus ( They're a non-profit based in Las Vegas helping foster kids have as close to a normal life as possible. It seems fitting that proceeds from a parent blogger would go to a cause to help kids with messed up family lives.

BTW I can't wait to see the calendar!