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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Getting to Know Your Local Redneck

So, as reported previously I am participating in Neil's Great Interview Experiment. I have been tasked with interviewing Tanis, The Redneck Mommy. Even though she's an Oilers fan and totally cut in line (Neil completely caved when she batted her eyelashes at him and insisted she needed be the one to interview Mr. Lady), I agreed.

Well Hi there, Tanis. Thanks for squeezing this little interview into your busy press schedule. I understand that you have recently been featured on CNN and in the Edmonton Journal and Calgary Herald. How do you deal with the attention from media outlets? Do you laugh about it? Get nervous about your image?

It's an aberration. Generally speaking, the only attention I get in real life is from my dog begging for a treat. My children like to pretend I don't exist unless of course they need something like, food or clean clothes. Then it's all "Mommy, we love you. Please get off the computer and take care of us." That's when I like to toss Cheerios at them and tell them to check their socks. If the socks can't stand up by themselves, they are good for at least another day. Heh.

All of which makes the recent media attention I have received flattering and a bit disconcerting. I don't mind doing print or radio interviews, but television throws me for a loop. I'm very self-conscious about my appearance and it's hard to pretend I'm invisible when I see myself on the screen. I don't enjoy it.

You've been blogging for a while now, and it seems to be a pretty big part of your life. Do you have close friends that you've made through blogging, or do you keep your blog life separate from your offline life?

Dude. What life offline? Folding laundry and parading around naked in my yard? Just kidding. Well, not about the naked part. But I rarely fold laundry. I prefer the wrinkled look. I call it crinkle-chic.

To answer you, blogging slowly, through time, has become a huge part of my life. I have been fortunate that my blogging life has bled into my offline life and the boundaries have blurred. Some of my favorite bloggers that I stalked regularly have turned into my real life best friends and I consider myself amazingly blessed to have them as part of my life...on line and off.

Do you really consider yourself a redneck?

Depends on how you define a redneck. Have I ever ate roadkill or dated a blood relative? No. Do I like to play in the mud with big trucks and shoot off guns at darn near every opportunity? Hell yes.

The difference between me and a stereotypical redneck is that I still have all my teeth. For now. Heh.

You have a reputation for being extremely candid on your blog. Are you that candid in your offline interactions with people? Do people react differently to candor in person than online?

I suffer from a condition called foot-in-mouth disease. There is currently no treatment available and it seems to be compounded by my complete lack of common sense.

That said, I believe in telling it like it is, even if the truth hurts. I have learned to be candid, even shockingly so and not mince words whether on line or in real life, because I don't like it when people say something and mean another. I also seem to have no personal boundaries, which further encourages my candor. Much to my family's discomfort. Heh.

I haven't found a real difference to the reactions to my candor on line or IRL. People either appreciate it or they don't.

You seem to spend a lot of time naked. Why do you hate clothes so much?

I think I must have been a nudist in a past life. That or I find clothing constricts my creativity and for the sake of my craft I must be naked.

Either way, it works for my husband.

Who is the hottest daddy blogger and why?

Well, I don't have a thermometer handy to take temperatures....oh, you mean...HAWT.

Hands down it has to be Bill, from Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life. The dude plays with guns and blows things up for me. Plus he wears a kilt. Call me crazy, but a man who fights crime and wears a kilt just equals HAWTNESS..

If you could cast yourself in any movie you've ever seen what would it be?

It's a toss up. I'd love to be in a movie, any movie, with Elvis, because he's the KING. But not Fat Elvis. My heart belongs to the young, thin hip-shaking Elvis. Swoon. (I know, I'm pathetic.) If Elvis wasn't available I would absolutely cast myself as Ellen Ripley from Aliens. She's probably one of the toughest female character ever written, and I would love to be able to run around playing with guns in outer space while shooting aliens.

Apparently, I've got some anger management issues I've yet to deal with.

What is your strongest scent-memory?

I cannot smell the scent of hospital antiseptic without immediately being taken back to my son's last moments of life. It is very difficult for me to be able to walk into a hospital or even a doctor's office because when I catch a whiff of that familiar smell, my heart breaks all over again and I find myself fighting waves of grief and love.

If you had to choose between being funny in person or funny online, which would you choose and why?

You mean I can't be both??? Damn. So much for my comedic delusions. If you asked any of my friends or family, they would be quick to tell you that I'm decidedly not funny in person. Just sarcastic and annoying.

I just take that as a personal challenge to try harder. Wink.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

I could ask if you meant African or European. I could tell you that it's just a simple question of weight ratios and with some kinematic data, Strouhal numbers and some simplified flight wave forms the answer is 8.8 meters per second, or 20 miles per hour.

Instead, I'll just tell you that I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.

Many thanks to Tanis for agreeing to do this, and again to Neil for setting the whole thing up in the first place.

48 comments:

The Old Broad said...

BwaHaHaHa! Most excellent!

just beth said...

I am totally in love with her.

And she doesn't even know I exist.

*sigh*

xo

b.

Pgoodness said...

Great interview! She is so awesome.

moosh in indy. said...

What's funny? Whilst shacking up in San Francisco I realized that I have lived a crazier life than her if we were to compare liquor drugs and the sex.
Did I just say that out loud?

Mr Lady said...

You had me at Monty Python. BPDad, you're welcome for getting you off the ME hook. Tanis, well, I think I may start showing up on your doorstep. This "internet stalking" just isn't enough anymore. *swoon*

Her Bad Mother said...

Tanis rocks. You rock. We need to gather up our families and go start a commune of awesomeness somewhere or something. Because, seriously.

Kile said...

Heh, you totally left her wide open for a crude comment involving "unladen" and "swallow" but she didn't take the bait (hee wide open). I love anyone with such a nice truck.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Love that woman. Love her so much it hurts. She's just lucky I was too drunk to molest her in her sleep at Blogher '07.

And Tanis, I know you're reading this. Don't let it go to your head, hon. You're pretty fabulous but you still can't train your own damn dog. *snort*

Loralee Choate said...

I'll second that whole commune of awesomeness thing. Totally.

Weith Kick said...

Reading it I could totally hear her hillbilly accent. She did have a hillbilly accent, right?

for a different kind of girl said...

I just 'met' Tanis less than 48 hours ago, and already I'm willing to doff my clothes and run around outside shooting off guns if she'll have me. Like, 10 minutes ago. I am so not kidding. In fact, I may have tossed off a couple items and took some practice squeezes with my high powered finger pistols just to be ready while reading this.

That sounded kinda dirty. I need to go fan myself and then reload.

Assertagirl said...

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

Oh, and Tanis showed me her boobs. They were spectacular.

Swirl Girl said...

any woman who can quote The Holy Grail...hell any person who can quote the Holy Grail is definitely NOT a redneck!

And she is a hot babe...not a redneck...more like a Daisy Duke perhaps?


great interview

Kelley said...

Tanis said I fart in your general direction.

I am now officially truly madly deeply in lurve.

You do realise that you are in the presence of greatness dude. Tanis is the definition of hawt awesomeness.

Anissa@Hope4Peyton said...

That's a fantastic interview! Respect and props to you both.

The sound of coconuts clip clopping will now follow every reading of her site.

Undomestic Diva said...

Great interview. And now I hate you because I have to go re-write my questions. Jerk.

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

I enjoyed that. Luurrrve Tanis from way back.

(And hello! Love your blog, you're a new addition to my roll. *waves*)

Sarcastic Mom said...

Dude, you are cool and all, but you are SO LUCKY to have been the one who got to interview Tanis. Agreed, you said? I think it should have said, "Fackin' Rejoiced." But, you know, that's just me. And I got HUGE love and respect for that woman, because she's beautiful, intelligent, humorous, compassionate, interesting, and way more graceful than she gives herself credit for.

And she's got some damn fine knockers. Oh, holy mother.

*ahem*

I like Tanis. Could you tell?

MoziEsmé said...

Great interview! I think she'd scare me in real life, though!

Karen said...

That made my day. Now when work shits all over my head,I can just remember this interview and smile.

Badass Geek said...

She seems very genuine, which can be a hard trait to pull off.

Middle Aged woman said...

Shoot. I never knew Ripley even HAD a first name.

Immoral Matriarch said...

She's the bees knees man.

InstantAmber said...

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. A commune of awesomeness sounds cool @herbadmother. As longs as we can blow things up and shoot guns. Awesomeness.

Ali said...

awesome interview!

i, too, suffer from the foot-in-mouth disease. big time. also? funny(ish) online and not at all in real life.

Amanda said...

Having heard you both in San Fran, I enjoyed reading this imagining the exchange being made face to face.

Mamma said...

I just love to watch her work.

Lisa Milton said...

And that's why we adore her. Right there.

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Intead of calling it foot in mouth disease I call it the loss of the brain mouth connection. It get worse when I drink.

Great interview! Nice to have an insight on a blogger that I have recently found and enjoy!

Kristine said...

Awesomeness!

I love you both, which sounds like an excellent excuse for a threesome. Just saying...

Megan said...

I love it when bloggers collide. I have been reading RNM for months now and I am fairly new to BPD.

Great interview. Tanis, you never disappoint in the entertainment.

Mrs. Flinger said...

I have the most awesome photo of you and her and Jenny in SF. I was all, "WHO IS THAT HOT MAN IN THE BACK" and the girls are like, "LOOK AT MAH BOOBS".

Love this interview. Two of the funniest people together in one post = teh awesome.

Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants said...

I love her with all my heart. She is wonderful. That is all.;)

Momo Fali said...

For her, I would move to Canada.

The Old Broad said...

FYI ~ I subscribed to your feed BECAUSE of your interview with RedneckMommy!

Mary Beth said...

You guys are great together! I have to get cracking on my questions and answers.

Burgh Baby said...

I can't believe she didn't say YOU are the hawtest Daddy blogger. I mean, DUH!

TentCamper said...

Now...and only now...I will have a great day. you guys kick ass. Love your blog and am in love with RNM.

Miss Britt said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest you answered that whole "who is the hottest daddy blogger" question wrong.

gunfighter1 said...

I was wondering where this spurt of traffic at my blog came from!

Miss Brit... she WAS right.

I am the hotness. That is, If you like fat, roly-poly, Sunday school teaching, aging cops that are good with guns

HAHAHAHAHA!

Good interview, BPD. Tanis is a fine person, a great blogger, and a good friend.

Cheers,

GF

Lori said...

Great questions.

I'm just surprised Tanis didn't take "unladen swallow" in another direction.

Missy said...

Awesome interview! I love you both so much!

Rachel said...

That is quite possibly fabulous.
I adore her.
i am coming to adore you.

Bliss. Pure Bliss.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Excellent random Holy Grail reference.

You have to know these things when you're king you know.

ALI said...

I love this woman! so wish I lived in canada!

Redneck Mommy said...

I'm feeling the bloggy love, over here.

Thanks peeps.

And thanks to Backpacking Dad for the great interview. It was fun.

slackermommy said...

Excellent interview! I love Tanis and now I love her even more.

TLC said...

I loved Tanis, and now I love her more. Wow, she quoted Monty Python, and accurately, too!


Nice.

I want in on this commune. But I am not cleaning the toilet. No way no how.