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Saturday, September 27, 2008

How to Abuse a Friendship in 500 Words or Less

Like a Vegas lounge singer I'd like to "take the room down" a little and get serious on you for a moment.

I want to tell you all about a dear friend of mine who is having a bit of a rough time. Her name is Tanis, otherwise known as The Redneck Mommy. You've probably heard of her; hell, you're probably only here because you read her blog and she linked to me once.

Tanis is very special to me, and not only because she went above and beyond the call of duty in making a dad-out-of-water feel comfortable and welcome at BlogHer. She also tells wonderful, hilarious and heartbreaking stories, and she puts up with dad-bloggers and other pervs of their ilk and their constant requests for pictures of her boobs.

So, what is the rough time she is having? Well, today is Tanis' birthday. And it's a very special birthday for her because she is finally, finally, out of her 30s.

Yep, Tanis turns 40 today, and she is having a little trouble accepting it. I'm not sure why. As someone significantly younger than she is I can assure her that the 30s aren't that great and I can hardly wait to be as aged and wise as she is.

And even though she's a little older today than she was yesterday I'd like her to know that if her personality is any indication, 40 is the new "12-year-old boy". And if everyone could go visit her blog and let her know that 40 isn't old at all and nothing to be ashamed of, I think she would really appreciate it. Eventually.

Happy Birthday, Tanis. Your friends love you very much.

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33 comments:

Undomestic Diva said...

You are in so much fucking trouble. HA!

Redneck Mommy said...

OH. MY. GAWD.

I HATE YOU.

FOR THE RECORD EVERYONE: I AM 33.

THIRTY THREE.

And Burns. You are dead. So dead. Make sure your lawyer wife gets your affairs in order because I'm flying up there to murder you.

THIRTY THREE PEOPLE.

(And couldn't you have found a picture of me without six double chins? Gah.)

moosh in indy. said...

This is why you let chicks be in charge of birthday party celebrations.

Will said...

A gay Ray Liotta! That's who you look like. Damn that's been bugging the crap out of me. And all this time I've been mistaking you for a more gay and effeminate Rhett Butler. (My apologies to his estate.)

A man that so willingly and unabashedly makes such a huge mistake as to the age of the hottest of the Mommy Bloggers around must be seeking the sweet release of death. A wise man once said "hell hath no fury like a woman with access to high powered weapons." I'd stay in very public places for a while if I were you man. She'll get all coyote on you.

Trish said...

Aging her 7 years. She's gonna kill you!

Whit said...

I can't believe she's only 40.

~The Shoebox~ said...

*kicks back and watches the war of words on twitter, giggling*

Aunt Becky said...

On the one hand, I feel the need to show my support for Team Vagina, as Tanis is a good friend of mine. But on the other: you're hilarious.

And on the third hand (leg?) she's a MILF.

Rachel said...

Hysterical.
Absolutely hysterical.

And really, who doesn't love Tanis?

Oh, The Joys said...

I am dying laughing at "Gay Ray Liotta". That is almost as precious as Fatty Redskin.

Lapa37 said...

Ok so who are we supposed to believe you or her? Is she 33 or 40? Cause you know women lie about their age.Sometimes.I think you had better watch yourself i don't know her but have been reading her stuff for a few months and I think she can take you.After all she is a red neck.

P.S. hahaha on the whole gay Ray thing.

T. said...

That was evil. Really. funny. but evil.

Also, I notice that I am NOT in your blogroll, and yet you are in mine, and even took a picture at Blogher that was on my blog,and you took one too, and at the risk of sounding like a stalker (not) I wanna know, don't you like my blog anymore? ::sniff:::

T.

for a different kind of girl said...

Thank God Tanis has not yet joined the hot 40 year old mommy blogger society. As an actual 40 year old, I don't need the kind of sizzling hot competition she could bring to the table.

Momo Fali said...

You either have huge balls, or you're a complete dingbat. I would not want to be on Tanis' bad side. Just sayin'.

Tony said...

backpacking dad 1

redneck mommy 0 (but making threats and foaming at the mouth)

*turns football off and stares at computer screen*

Kristine said...

Oh boy.

That's really all I have.

Ohhh boyyyyy....

Mind of MadMan said...

They clank when you walk huh??

AEA said...

you 2 are soo cute! :) btw, your a grait friend and dad 2 ;}

anna said...

lol

Happy Birthday! 33 is the new 40? What? That makes me (adding numbers in head) like 54 or something. So cheer up.

fidget said...

oh my a 7 yr faux paux. If that happened on my birthday I'd have to run out and get a tat... err dye my hair.. uh... get something removed YES! Removed! Like my foot from your butt LOL. Happy Bday Tanis!!

mamatulip said...

Oh my god.

Gay Ray Liotta.

That's IT!

kittenpie said...

Oooh, you are SO going to get it...

And Will - I don't think you have to apologize to the estate of fictional characters, do you? But still, funny. BP's hair IS way too good, isn't it?

Headless Mom said...

HA!

I was at Tanis' place first. Should have been here first. Oh well!

I'd watch my back if I were you!

Kristin said...

ha...you are in TROUBLE. Gay Ray Liotta...LMAO.

Kelley said...

*snigger*

Dude, I hope you weren't that attached to your testicles...

jerseygirl89 said...

Are you friends with my husband? He pulled this on my last birthday.

Mama Smurf said...

LOL...so who do I believe....40? or 33? If she really IS 33 than you are just wrong....so wrong...

Raging Dad said...

Dude, you are brutal!

The Stiletto Mom said...

You crazy 30 somethings. When you actually get to 40, I'll be here with a smile on my face and a kick in the ass to welcome you to the crowd...nutty kids....

Donna in VA said...

Uh Oh! Adding ONE year to a woman's age is bad enough. . . and you dared to add SEVEN! You're a brave, brave soul.
Funny, but brave.

motherbumper said...

I guess she looks pretty damn good for 40 (and what is up with those chins? Is that a hair I see sprouting out of there?)

Oh yes, you are so ripe for a beating and then I'll be the next in line to meet RNM's fist. A fist of love though, a fist of love.

Backpacking Dad said...

Don't let Tanis fool you. She's 40. Fo realz, yo.

And "Gay Ray Liotta" sounds like a double negative. I thought Ray Liotta was already gay. So that would just make the statement "Gay Ray Liotta" self-canceling and we're left with "Shawn, the most awesome of awesome dudes."

Besides, if anyone in Hollywood looks like me it's Leonardo diCaprio. Dude has been working on his "Shawn" look for 3 movies now.

Michelle said...

I want to wish Tanis a Happy Birthday, though a little belated, but I can't get past the Ray Liotta thing. I just keep staring at your picture now...