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Monday, July 14, 2008

GoogleHer? I don't even know her

Catherine over at Her Bad Mother had this little epiphany for pre-BlogHer introductions (and also a good meme idea for those who aren't terribly self-conscious about their Internet footprint): Google yourself and list 5 things about yourself that are floating around out there, known only to Google. Most of my Internet (did you know that's a capitalized word?) footprint is academic, except for the blog stuff.

So, for the stalkers:

1. I am a grad student in philosophy at Stanford. I'm an old grad student. That's an old picture. And it was taken in Hakone. That egg was steamed over the sulfur pits there.

2. The UCSD Alumni Association loves me. Emily says I have a leadership addiction. Whatever. They gave me a check and nice paper weight.

3. At one point I was very concerned about helping people read Steven Brust's books in the best order.

4. I was invited to present comments on a Native American political philosophy book by Dale Turner (This Is Not a Peace Pipe) at the APA Pacific conference this past winter.

5. I am a mediocre fencer. I haven't been able to fence in a few months, because of a combination of scheduling conflicts with Emily's work and some bruised heels.

There. Now you know as much about me as Google does.

(Editor's Note: I realize upon re-reading this that the list looks like a joke. No, that's all me kids. Philosopher, leadership addict, fantasy-geek, professional philosopher, and bad fencer.)


trademarkmama said...

I tried to do this, and it actually caused a mini-existential crisis. There were too many "Emily Burns" hits, so the first thing I thought of doing was to add "cooley" to the search terms to find hits related to me. This, of course, severely limited my hits to only those that are law related. Then I thought - what ELSE would I put as a search term? What ELSE do I do besides the law? AAAAAAAAH...I need a hobby. We are so totally becoming Certified BBQ Contest Judges before the year is out.

Mary Beth said...

Apparently I am a noted professor of Infectious Diseases, most notably the monkeypox virus; an associate professor at Carroll Community College; have died and been buried my actual resting place remains a secret; and I have a shelf on Good Reads. Only one of those is actually me - can you guess which one?

Carolyn...Online said...

I wrote about this at HBM but I'm still diggin' the other Carolyn out there with a son named Thor.

Oh, that and the Tempel astroid on the collision path. I am Earth's mighty destruction.

Aunt Becky said...

*sniffs loudly*

SOME of us AREN'T going to BlogHer.

Like moi.

Loralee Choate said...

I totally love this.

I did a post on this way back in the day but I still LOVE IT.

Apparently, Loralee is very popular with romance novelists and Satan worshipers.

Who knew?

Christy said...

I got nothing--except my blog. Apparently I'm not that exciting. I guess better that than in jail or something.

Anonymous said...

Good to know Stanford updates their grad info.

Mine's mostly college stuff, too. Who knew my pathetic college education would come back to haunt me.

attiton said...

Aw, man. Marcellus, huh? That is a name to CONTEND WITH!

I bow down before it.

I Google myself from time to time just to find out who I get to harrass to remove my name from their pages. No pictures of me exist outside of the Dark Web. My entire real name, while unusual, is shared by people in Australia and England. Which means that there are lots of virtual people to hide behind.

The few pages that actually do refer to me tend to reflect my former life.

With this in mind, you may wonder why I hunt people down when they mention me and they shouldn't. There is no such thing as reinvention in the 21st century. Traces of your past will always remain. Ghostly simulacra of our behaviors remain long after we wish they could be forgotten. It fucking sucks.

Backpacking Dad said...

trademarkmama: We totally are. We're going to have to take a trip to Colorado or something to do it, though.

mary beth: I'm going with "shelf on Good Reads". Although I was tempted by "buried in a secret reseting place".

carolyn online: that's awesome. I want a destructo-asteroid named after me

aunt becky: We'll meet somewhere else then. I'll babysit for you.

loralee: So that's where I've seen "Loralee" before. All of those satanic romance novels I've been reading.

"And then Satan, chest heaving, swept Loralee up in his massive, red, arms. He drew her in, close enough for her to feel his throbbing member through his chinos. And he whispered 'Worship me, as I will worship you.' She couldn't fight it any longer. She gave in, and they fell together in among the heather and clover."

christy: indeed. no one needs that kind of Google-fame.

meg: forever and ever and ever.

attiton: What's your former life?

attiton said...

Huh? Oh. In my former life, I was a bored, over-educated blowhard.

How does that differ from my current life, you ask?

I'm no longer bored.

Badass Geek said...

This post confirms the fact that you aren't really that much more interesting than I am.

A Google search of my name brings up stories written by a columnist for a NY newspaper, and a mass murderer.

THopgood said...

What a fun idea! I'll have to give my self a little google search!

Heather said...

Apparently google doesn't even know I exist. Maybe I should wave at him during lunch!!

I actually find it sad and yet oddly comforting at the same time that I am not google-able.

Amelia Sprout said...

Hehehe, I used to hang out with Steven Brust's son when I was in high school.
I find it slightly surprising that you're a fencer. Though not so much after the Brust thing.
*sniff* I wanna go to BlogHer...

justlori2day said...

This was actually funny, because the real me used to be listed fairly close to the top because of my job, but now I "apparently":
1. Live in Acron Ohio and am on LinkedIn
2. Live in Toronto and am on Facebook
3. Gave $2,100 in political contributions (and then another $1,000)
4. Am now a member of the Jewish Love Network for Jewish Singles
(something else interesting is that while I have a German last name, most of the women with my name on Google are of Jewish decent. I however an Catholic)
5. My husband Robert and I are very prominent fundraisers.
I need to get me some of that!

The real me was #7. Soon I will be on page 2! This was fun - I hope you dont mind if I re-steal it!

for a different kind of girl said...

The alternate me is a teacher at Palms Middle School in Los Angeles. When I'm done grading papers and overseeing the cheerleaders, I sell real estate in North Orange County. My parents always said that Real Estate license would come in handy one day. Now, my husband Denny and I list several mult-million dollar properties. Clearly, I teach for the love of youth. Whitney was right. Children are our future. Future home buyers, that is!

During downtimes in the Real Estate market, I'm on staff at the National Institute of Health in Bethesda. Yeah for frequent flyer miles! It gives me time to maintain my Facebook page while at the various airports I hang out in.

All in all, I'm pretty impressed by myself.

Backpacking Dad said...

badass geek: just goes to show you can never trust a journalist

thopgood: I googled you, and you run marathons. Is that right?

heather: rob a liquor store in broad daylight and leave your name spray-painted on the cooler doors. Then you'll be google-able.

amelia sprout: yep. although I've been fencing for longer than I've been reading Brust.

justlori2day: that's happened to me as well. My Stanford page dropped of the first Google page once, and then it was first, and now it's wherever it is.

FADKOG: I think it's hilarious that everyone is rattling off what your alternate selves are doing. My list is all me, baby! :} As is yours, I can tell.

Mandy said...

Fencing... very, um, esoteric. Totally suits a philosophy major.

Great to see everyone's Google sides.

I don't know if I want to Google myself. There are certain things that should just stay in the past!

reneedesigns said...

Its always fun to google yourself. I apparently made the Endurance Athlete Directory, which if you know me is pretty damn funny.

Ali said...

google had nothing interesting to say about me. now i'm depressed. google hates me.

BretCB said...

Ali - that's not a bad thing; anonymity on the internet is nothing to complain about.

I don't turn up anywhere intersting, either.

Backpacking Dad said...

mandy: do tell! I googled you and just found some bloggy stuff :{

reneedesigns: I'm always winning those damn high school track meets :}

ali: I thought the fact that you yell too much and swear a lot was interesting :}

bretcb: are you using my blog to pick up women? ha! I crack myself up today.

Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

This looks like fun... maybe I'll do it to procrastinate from packing... because I don't know what to wear...

BretCB said...

BPD: Sorry to deflate your internet ego slightly, but no. I'm not in the market for another girlfriend - one is quite enough for me to handle. ;)

Patti Mayo said...

The only think that comes up for me is my Sharkle Account, my account and when I tried to start a blog the first time.

....damn, I'm boring, my blog didn't even come up..

Always Home and Uncool said...

I've learned other people with my name are far more interesting, popular and successful. Hey, we all have a niche to fill.